Inside Scoops

By: Vigilante

• Everybody who was dere see when de jeep drop out Idi Amin near de end a de walk.  And dey say dat he is such a fraud, he mek sure dat de camera dem dere to tek he picture at de end a de walk like he walk all de way.

• Dey say dat even though he only walk a short distance, he was blowing and sweating like a hog.  Dey say dat a woman had was to hold him up how she thought dat he was gon tekeen and fall dung.

• Dey say dat Idi Amin had he bodyguard dem on de lookout for anybody who did planning to tek he picture and put dem up on Facebook.  He say dat he member last time how he side profile went viral.

• When Idi Amin see dat nobody studying him neither in de walk nor when he reach de end, he went on he phone and call de fallen angel go ask him for all de people dem who he and de press lady was to have line up to tek dey picture wid him.

• He tell Ole Mother Hubbard and Ms Whisky dat for all de people who was on de walk, he ain feel no love at all from dem.  He say dat de next time he gon just wait at de end a de walk for dem to reach een and he gon mek sure dat he have people set up so when dey see him, dey  gon run come tek dey picture wid him.  He tell dem dat he gon organise de people dem he self because when he depend on he functionary dem, nobody does be dere.

• De fallen angel tell him dat since de two a dem stop go walking early morning, he, Idi Amin, carn even walk widout blowing short like he going go fall dung.  De fallen angel tell him dat he will even buy a seven dollar chiney wid sauce for him every day and don’t even look back for de money.  He just want dem to start to go walking again.

• Is only Idi Amin from de government side who went on de walk. Dey say dat de Marriott man and de frilly mout deputy done let it be known dat dey not going anywhere wid  Idi Amin. Dey tell Idi Amin dat Ms Whisky and Ole Mother Hubbard could go wid him.

• Idi Amin wuk a fast one on de fallen angel.  He done promise de fallen angel dat dey gon meet in England den go on to France and he, de fallen angel gon have him all to heself.  No Tommy Tuck Tuck.  No Sack Sack.  No Walla Walla.  No massive fella.  It just was gon be de two a dem.  But at de last minute Idi Amin cancel and de poor fallen angel nearly tekeen wid de vapours.

• Dey say dat is Ole Mother Hubbard who tell Idi Amin not to go up by de fallen angel.  She say dat de last time dat dey went way together, is two a de people dem bed dey bruk dung and de chiney people did so vex dat de ambassador write her a very nasty letter complaining.

• Ham so fraid he people demdat not even when dey invite him to school event, he going.  And he PS not going nowhere for him neither.  So he had to beg bout five people to go for him before he get one a dem to agree to go.

• Dey say dat last year Ham had big song and dance and give de team ten thousand dollars.  But because he hear dat a lot a dem saying dat he is a total waste a time and he have Idi Amin have a woman who nobody vote for treating him wuss dan a dung pan dog, he ain give dem a ha’penny up to now and he did promise dem double de money.